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Borat's Guide To America, Episode Six: The South
Borat visits the South of the United States of America in the final episode. He starts with a visit to Middleton Place a posh house with a little US tradition. The lady who shows our Kazakh reporter around the grounds is an elderly lady with no sense of humour, Jane Thornhill.
Borat is delighted to hear that Jane went to school with the ex first lady of the United States, Barbara Bush. However, Borat finds this somewhat hilarious as "In Kazakhstan, 'Bush' is the hair around the 'test-satchels'" and "'Barbara', is like to eat". The straight faced Mrs Thornhill ignores Borat's childishness and simply changes the subject to inform him that "This is the Spring House".
Mrs Thornhill then introduces Borat to a rather arrogant gentleman who is demonstrating carpentry techniques from the 19th centuary. Borat is confused though, very confused, "But it is a shame now to use these primitive tools, we now have a machine now in Kazakhstan, can chop a wood, without a man!".
The LLano County Rodeo is the next port of call for Borat. A quick lassoo lesson of world champion roper Tee Woolman and then it is off to the main event.
Borat talks to some local fellas watching the rodeo, some manly banter follows. "How many punches can you take to a cow before it fall over?", is asked. Borat then impresses the locals by telling them that "I can carry a woman against her will for one mile".
As the day ends and the night draws in Borat chats to a pretty blonde in the stand. His chat up lines move to passing over polaroid pictures of his wife. The blonde is visibly shocked as she realises that photos three and four are explicit naked pictures. However, Borat makes a friend for himself in the "moustachioed" man to his right who seems quite happy to look at the cheeky snaps.
Borat moments to remember...
Borat chats to a lady at the rodeo:
Borat: "I have a wife, do you want to see her picture?"
(Borat gets a set of four or five polaroids out from his jacket pocket)
Lady: "Awww, she's great, she couldn't come with you?" (the lady flips to polaroid three), "Did you know that picture was in there!?!?!" (the picture is of a plump, naked, middle aged lady with her legs apart)
Borat: "Yes that is my wife"
Lady: "That's more of your wife than I wanted to see!"
Borat chats to what looks like a Vietnam Vet in the street:
Borat: "We say in Kazakhstan that a man who never killed a man is like man without any..." (Borat indicated to his groin.) "Is true? Is true?"
Man: "It's a strange feeling"
Borat: "You have a big..." (Borat indicates to the man's groin.) "You have a big 'hram'?"
Man: "Errrrrr, fairly... Not... Pretty good."
Borat: "I can touch?"
Man: "In America, you don't, it's not... It's not one of our customs."
Borat: "I can touch?"
Man: (The man looks around) "Well sure, why not"
Borat: "This is OK with you?"
(Borat reaches between the man's legs and touches him, they both then laugh)
Borat: "It's nice... It's good, but I have seen bigger!"
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