| Dear
fellows,
The rules of
Mangina are not written in stone,
They are like sunlight glittering from the holy lake,
Or like shadows cast by a burning brand,
Carried by one of the faithful in the persuit of Mangeology.
Imagine yourself
as a young deer ensnared in brambles,
Or a youth bound in barbed wire,
Raging against the machine, determined to be loose,
But unable through sheer will to escape.
Let this be a
guide to you in the Wilderness.
Mangina,
Thou shalt make facials*1
Thou shalt be a Savage*2
Respect not thine neighbours earthly possesions
Om*3 thine food and thy neighbours food
Let not Billy Ray into thine house
Respect thine neighbours morteledge
Outdo thine neighbours Morteledge
Be at all times in possesion of a Sfungle*5
If thou art not Sfungly, weep at thy misfortune
At all times, hammer*6 thine neighbour
Let the Hammerage be harsh
Let the Hammerage be prolongeth
Let thine "golf-swing" be abundant with humour and
ideosyncracies
The number of the Stellas should be four
Let the number of the stellas be not one, two or three, unless
thy then
proceeds to four
Whense the number of stellas is five, thou shalt whoop with
delight,
and then nine*7 thine neighbour
Let not the timid have their say, hammereth them until they
**********8 away
Pourage*9 is right out!
Aniont thine neighbours with unfortunate titles, which will
remain for
eternity
When possible, use the Bank of **********
When on the lash*10, useth not the "twopintswithmyfather"
to excuse thine
worthless self
Useth the pose of Mangina, like Hulk Hogan
If a Beefy greedy fellow resembles Hulk Hogan, anniont him Hulk
Herman
Respect the Tour De France at all times
Honour the Barebackers
Touch Cricket, although ancient, should still be respected
Vomitage is holier than holy
Let thine vomit pour forth like a holy tide of good news,
spilling out for
the faithful ones
Let the chunks in thine vomit be like Pinnages*11 in the famine
*11.1
wilderness,
Let the liquid be like a Nicholnine*12
Blessed are the eebrews
Let the Burton be Hasty
Let the House be Damp
Let the Vom be Projectile
Let the TACKA be EMS
Let the Abarra be Kebabarra
And the final rule of Mangina is, do not talk about Mangina.
1 - Facials are
nothing to do with Oil of Olay, they are amusing contortions
exagerating the current emotion or feelings. They should
be used repeatedly
but the timing must be exact.
2 - Andy.
3 - To gorge yourself rapidly and selfishly.
4 - This number is not used because to a Mangina, it is unlucky,
unless when
counting the number of Stella.
5 - A ludicrous uncontrolable hairstyle, controversial but often
ground-breaking.
6 - To "lay the smack down" on a friend. Ideally
it should leave them
totally lacking in self-worth and dignity.
7 - Generally not talked about, but concerning the removal of a
build up of
smegma, placing it under the nose of a freind, a la the bisto
advert, but
without the lovely meaty result, instead a gross brie-like
bile-rising
whiff.
8 - An ancient legendary Mother Theressa type character who was
shunned by
his peers, for no reason other than having ************, a sad
and cruel
parable.
9 - To purposely pour away the amber nectar to delude your
friends into
thinking you can om far more than your "specific lager
capacity".(this is an
inate level, genetic and uncontrolable, some have it some don't,
simple as
that)
10 - To drink copiously for a whole evening until
projectile vomming or
having a hasty D burton. (must be without pourage)
11 - To "get off with" a young lady using force.
This does not necessarily
mean that they do not want it, in fact most of the time they
"love it".
11.1 - A famine is a prolonged period without the company of a
lady, and
also without any pinnage of scorage. Normally leads to
over-nutrition,
depression eating of pork-pies and a huge pair of beefy
curtains.
 12
- A particulary vile type of nine, not really known about
because non
have yet survived one, a bit like smelling Arsenic i.e. "
It smells
of....aaaarrgghh"
Guru Barn |
